nothing can get me down today

Ski day. It snowed through the night and we trudge through the unplowed streets to catch a cab. The morning was full of giving lessons to beginning PCVs and hoping they wouldn't demolish themselves on the bunny trail. At 11, I went to the top. Looked to the left then looked to the right, a huge grin covered my face. The mountain had been covered with fresh snow for hours and no one had even touched it. All afternoon I made fresh tracks. Spent the night dreaming about it. Life is good.

100 years from now

yesterday, i was talking with students about what a kyrgyz woman's life was like 100 years ago. they were enranged with the little choice women had and limited freedom. one student looked at me and said, "maybe students 100 years from now will be angry with OUR lack of choice." i look around and see educated, smart, talented women who still do not have the full options that they deserve.... and i think she is right.

the story of how kyrgyzstan came to be

a long, long time ago all of the people went to god to ask for land. everyone went except for the kyrgyz man because he was tending to his sheep. the people asked god for land and each person was given a piece of the world. they all left happy. the kyrgyz man came home from herding his sheep and his wife told him he needed to go ask god for land. so he went.
"god, can i have a piece of land to herd my sheep?"
"i'm sorry, but i have given everything away."
"is there anything left that i can have. please?"
"well there is one place left," said god. "but i was saving it for myself because it's paradise. you can have it because you work hard and love the land."
and that's how kyrgyzstan came to be.... paradaise.

a teacher told me that one during our conversation club today.

did you just say thank you?

sometimes i just assume that my work is not being appreciated or utilized here. it's a different culture where a "thank you" is not required. i realize that americans say "thanks" constantly... but here, you only get one when it's really deserved.
i'm writing my final report for the book grant i wrote last spring. started to get pretty down about it, feeling like i was going to have to lie about how successful it has been. but this week i have been going into the classes to obseve the teachers and see how they are using the new materials in the classroom. sitting in the back, i watched the teachers and students use the materials, be interested in the content, answering the prompts, and structuring the classes with a warm up, presentation, practice, and time for free thinking production. i almost couldn't believe it. my combination of book project and teacher seminars is actually working.
darika, the senior teacher in my department, watched me as i stressed out about how to see everyone's classes. "Katie, your books are being used, Gulia made a universal test for unit 3, and the students are active. Your work is paying off. thank you." feels good to be thanked for doing something worthwhile.

deep thoughts by katie guthro :)

lately, life has been hard. i find myself lost in my head a lot, not knowing what to do, or how to make myself have perspective. i don't have all of the things from home that i could use to cope or to just forget about life for a while... an afternoon at a coffee shop, going to live music and dancing, or free nights and weekends to talk as long as i need to. all of that is gone. so now it's just me.
i remember being in tahoe and talking in the kids camp office. one of the instructors that had been teaching for 40ish years was talking about her husband and marriage. she said, "when it's really good, remind yourself that it will get worse and when it's really bad, remember it will get better." after a year and a half here, i still feel like this is some weird marriage to Stan. right now it's bad, but it will get better.
the longer i am here, the more i realize about myself. jess told me, you will learn more about yourself there than you would in any other situation and in any other place. and i believe her. here i am on the other side of the world, figuring out how i want to live, who i am, and what i really want from life.
i want...
to live in new england
to teach high school english
to coach field hockey
to exercise and be strong
to be proud of what i write
to continue understanding who i am
to take time to listen
to breath deep
to fully give my love to those who deserve it and expect the same in return
to learn more about my family
to make music
to be happy

I’m scared that I’m not going to get my book project money in time to do the training. I’m scared that everyone will think that I have failed and not trust me anymore. I’m scared that I’m going to not make a different in Kyrgyzstan. I’m scared that I’m going to go back to the US and realize that Peace Corps was a waste of time. I’m scared that no one will want to listen to my stories or try to understand how the world is in Kyrgyzstan. I’m scared that I won’t be able to relate to anyone. I’m scared that this has changed me more than I know. I’m scared that I won’t be able to work a full day happily ever again. I’m scared that life will end too soon. I’m scared that there isn’t enough time for me to have to life I have dreamed about. I’m scared that I won’t be able to handle what life throws at me.

I’m not scared of getting old. I’m not scared of falling in love. I’m not scared of telling the truth. I’m not scared of moving on to the next stage of my life. I’m not scared of getting married and having a family. I’m not scared of traveling the world. I’m not scared to live in one place and create a solid community. I’m not scared of succeeding in a future career. I’m not scared of trying something new. I’m not scared of shitting myself. I’m not scared of pushing my body to the limits. I’m not scared of having responsibilities. I’m not scared of being myself. I’m not scared of eating intestines… well, maybe the after effect of eating them. I’m not scared of experimenting in the kitchen. I’m not scared of taking a different path. I’m not scared of looking stupid. I’m not scared of being loyal to who my friends are. I’m not scared of people looking at me. I’m not scared of people judging me. I’m not scared of being vulnerable.

success!

I just walked from the university after a successful "The Best English Lesson" competition. Teachers came to present and learn from each other, some travelling over an hour from their villages. As the teachers came in, their cheeks were burning from the cold weather. It's almost winter time and everyone is anxious to have new ideas for the long months ahead. Darien Book Aid sent me a variety of books and teaching material that were used as prizes. The winners walked away with smiles of satisfaction.

Another project I am working on is a teen outdoor education course for the spring/summer. The plan is to bring 40 9th-11th grade students out on 10 day, overnight, and multiday trips into the mountains. The final event will be a 7 day trek out to Engelcheck Glacier. Most locals have not had the opportunity to get out into the mountains and I believe this program will just rock their world. It's exciting to work with the local guides and college students who want to help students grow through outdoor education. Wish the project was starting out now.

I am happy in Kyrgyzstan but I am the happiest when I am in the mountains. It's so good that I forget where I am in the world and just get caught in that moment. That's when I know I am truely content. Really looking forward to bringing Kyrgyz and Russian students to that happy place.

So for now I will wish for the ski season to begin. Let it snow...

kyrgyzstan address

everything changes and then changes again. would love to get a letter from home. feeling too far away.

Кыргызстан Kyrgyzstan
Ыссык Кол Issyk Kul
Каракол Karakol
Почта 20 Posta 20
Кэты Гатро Katie Guthro

some more pictures of the fall

it's just getting better and better here. i love how it all feels familiar. finally, i know what to expect and how to deal with different situations. never thought it would get to this point.

karakol fall

it's getting to be that time of year again. the leaves are changing and i'm eyeing my long underwear. all i know is that it's my second and final winter in kyrgyzstan. i can do this. everything is going to be alright.

teacher trainings

Today was our first away teacher training in the Ak Su region. This is the area where the mountains are amazing and I try to escape to on the weekends. When travelling through, school teeachers never crossed my mind. It's always stressful to depend on someone else to do the set up, recruitment, and foot work when planning anything. Letting go of that element of control is something that is hard for me to do. I took a bus with Asilgul (the newly appointed president of FORUM) and went to the unknown school. Expecting 15 or 20 teachers, I was taken back with 36 teachers crowded into the classroom. Before that point I wasn't really sure what our audience would be, IF people were only talking about trainings or if it was something that there would be follow through. Needless to say, my worries have been put to rest. They also are asking about Peace Corps applications and getting a English teacher volunteer. It's exciting to start helping in that process and hard to believe that my replacement will be arriving in country in 6 months.

back to school

Today I woke up, put on my newly aquired hooker boots, and headed off to the university. As I walked down the street, I watched parents and children walk hand in hand to meet their new teachers. The boys all wearing suits and girls in their pigs tails sans huge white lace pom poms. Ine Kyrgyzstan; the bigger the pom pom, the better the student. Each parent reflected the look of relief that the summer is finally over and their beautiful and smart children are getting out of the house.

I keep thinking about that Staples commerial. "It's the most wonderful time of the year" playing in the background, dad skipping through the aisles, kids looking crushed... shopping for back to school supplies.

I went to the university this weekend and found the teachers spread out across the lounge with the new materials I had bought with the money raised in the spring. Darika, the senior teacher, pulled me aside to congratulate me on the excellent book selection and how it will imporve the first year curriculum. Today we will start the curriculum mapping and putting together the next 4 months. It's exciting to finally see the project come alive.

sidenote: my biggest fear of coming back to kyrgyzstan was getting violently ill all over again. somehow i dodged it this time and the only conclusion i can come up with is that i must really have bowels of steel.

i am strong and full of sushi. Bring on the fatty butt sheep!!

the glass is half finished

Spent the last three weeks visiting family and friends in America. When I was trying to decide whether I was going to go, part of me really didn't want to. I questioned myself. What if the adjustment is too hard? What if I don't want to go back to Kyrgyzstan? What will it be like seeing my family? Is going home for 20 days enough time? Do I really want to go through another set of goodbyes? How do I even begin to explain living in Kyrgyzstan?
After being in NH for 2 weeks and a week in Tahoe, my last question is the one I struggled with the most. People ask, "how has the last year been?" and all I can say is, "it's a trip." They kind of look at me expecting more, and I look at them, trying to decided where I could possibly begin. The last year has provided me with the highest ups and the lowest downs of my life. How do you explain the bonds of PC volunteers created through getting so ill you shit your pants? Or smiling to yourself because you finally understand the quirks of a culture, or tasting the best watermelon of your life and accidentally eating the whole melon in one sitting, or realizing people are counting on you to help make their lives better, or that although local friends love you... you will always be American and you will never really belong.
It's just easier to tell them to look at the pictures on facebook.

Camp Watermelon

Planned on doing a week long camp for students in Karakol but didn't get the grant. Part of me just wanted to throw the whole idea away but decided to go through with the camp with no money... well, a $10 joint donation to buy watermelons for the week. Came to this realization that being there to play sports and teach small seminars is much more important than feeding them a huge lunch and giving a certificate at the end of the week. I fly out to visit NH and CA in a week. Can't wait to be home for August.

mission accomplished.

I am totally impressed. The money has been raised in less than six days. I don't really know what to say... thank you.

University Project Update

So I started raising money for my university book project. I'm pretty excited about it and think that it's going to be a success. The teachers are fired up and ready to get to work to redevelop the curriculm. I feel really lucky that I have such a strong site with motivated individuals. They are rock stars. This is the letter I sent out to everyone and their mother. It's amazing how people have taken from the small amount of money they have to donate to my project. I am just amazed. Still need about $600 more dollars before we are ready to start the week of training.


Dear Friends,

I am writing you to tell you about what I have been doing in Kyrgyzstan during my last year as a Peace Corps Volunteer. Battling food born illness, keeping warm during the winter, and learning how to work in a new environment has been challenging and completely rewarding. I knew the Peace Corps slogan was “the hardest job you’ll ever love”, but it’s amazing how much that rings true. I have fallen in love with Kyrgyzstan and the person I have become while living here the last year.

During the winter, the English department teachers sat down and had a serious discussion on what could help the university prosper. I asked them, ‘What can I do to help you?’. After going around and around, the final decision was new teaching materials and book trainings would aid teachers to improve their teaching techniques and students to retain more information in the classroom.

In our time of globalization, Kyrgyz students realize that English is vital to succeed in a world economy. The most lucrative Kyrgyz and international jobs require a high level of English proficiency, which motivates university students to master the language. Together, we as a department have put together an action plan to set up students for future success in our changing world.

Please go on to https://peacecorps.gov Click on Donate, then Donate to Volunteer Projects and search by “Kyrgyz Republic/Education”. We are hoping to raise $955.92, conduct the training at the end of June, and implement the new curriculum come September. All donations are tax deductible and all money will go directly to me to handle. Thanks for your love and support over the last year and the next year to come.

All good thoughts,
Katie Guthro

I ate a breakfast burrito today!!

random pics

Peace Corps Friends

brock

Kyrgyz Friends

Kyrgyz Culture Day

Victory Day

Yesterday was Victory Day and pretty much Kyrgyzstan was rocking out. At 11 am I went out in town and everyone was wearing their best clothes, strutting their stuff, and a majority were drunk in the park. I was walking down Main Street and saw a 15-year-old Kyrgyz guy just disappear. I did a double take and now four more men were standing around where he had poofed into thin air. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Walking closer, I saw a manhole and two hands reaching up. The man grabbed him, yanked him back up, and everyone was on their way. The guy had just fallen into a six-foot hole, shook it off and walked away.

This is the third person I have seen fall in a manhole in the last year. Pretty much people steal the manhole covers and melt them down for other things. Since there is a weak/nonexistent governmental infrastructure, no one has money/no one in power cares enough to buy new ones so there are just holes to dodge in the sidewalks and roads. People/dogs/trash fall in and are pulled out if anyone cares. After a storm is the worst because you really never know what is under a snowdrift. Just makes me laugh to think of the legal case that would cause in the US.

good thoughts of PC

Things are getting exciting here. I’m teaching some teachers how to write grants and they are coming up with good projects for the university. One teacher is writing a grant to conduct 30 teacher trainings throughout the next school year, which would be amazing for their professional development. My job has transitioned from teaching conversational English classes to being more of a support for the teachers. I like this position more because it makes me feel less like I am coming in and taking over their jobs and more like I am transferring new skills and helping people see their potential. Last week I went to a teacher training convention with some of the teachers I work with and had a chance to team teach with a local teacher and present different teaching methods. It’s taken 10 months but I now feel like I’m getting the wheels turning and my community is starting to see what we can do together. At the beginning, I didn’t fully understand why Peace Corps is 2 years but now I see that it has really taken some time for people to trust and respect me before anything else can happen.

Sitting in the internet cafe and it is filled with English. So interesting being on the other side of the world and people find English as the common language. I'm off to sneak attach Brock in Tallas and run a teacher training. Oh, and the weather is getting WARM!!

home from thailand

Thailand. It's a place I always wanted to go but just didn't see how I would get there. And then there I was... walking the white sandy beaches, getting a massage in the shade of a palm tree, drinking thai ice tea, watching the old white guys holding hands with young beautiful thai girls...that was something i could just not get over; the amount of prostitution and human trafficing was just frightening. People travelling from all over the world to this amazing place while the local women and men in the country are controlled and abused by sex trade. That was a hard thing to really wrap my head around.
Coming home to Kyrgyzstan, I breathed this huge sigh of relief. I really missed my home... not home- california, not home- new hampshire, but home- karkaol. This realization opened my eyes to what I have created here, where my heart and dedication is focused. I went to the university today to figure out my schedule and get ready for classes to start next week. I'm working two days a week with teachers on new methodology, assisting teaching the 4th and 5th year teaching methods classes, starting a FTOK club (future teachers of Kyrgyzstan), team teaching a beginner English club for university teachers who want to learn English, and creating open office hours for teacher support. I am really excited about the direction my job is taking. It feels like I will be able to make a bigger impact than what I was doing last semester. But that's the whole idea; growing, changing, and adjusting goals as you learn. Going away and relaxing in a different place helped me get some much needed motivation and perspective.

my backyard

Full moon camping

ski resorts in kyrgyzstan?

Saturday, a group of volunteers went skiing at our local ski resort. I really wasn't sure what to expect: rusty brokendown ski lifts? pure ice trails? snow lepards blocking the trail? anything was possible.
we drove up the long winding access road while the snow came down. coming up to the lodge, i got this knot in my stomache. everything here has been SO different, would snowboarding be a whole different sport too?
Taking my first few turns in 6 inches of powder, i breathed a huge sigh of relief. then i gave a big wohoo! and discovered the mountain. this was the first time where i completely forgot where i was, it was just me on my snowboard with great fresh snow. it doesn't get much better than that.